My Experiences with Parents

We were very open to discuss and share regarding Palak, so many parents approached me and my father, during these twenty long years. Very very few of them really understood what they were supposed to do. I found most of them actually bothered about something or the other& not related to the welfare of the child. The first disturbing fact I found was rejection from parents. In some it was obvious and in others it was hidden. I would narrate some of the expressions I heard from the parents I came across:
  • I have not done anything wrong to others then why I got this child?
  • How can I spare time for such a child who is unwanted in our family?
  • My mother-in-law is not supportive so I cannot do anything for this child.
  • My husband is not ready to spend for this child, so I am unable to do anything for this child.
  • Because of this child, my status in the family has gone down and I cannot bear this.
  • No one either in the society or at home loves this child and that disturbs me a lot.
  • My in-laws think that I am responsible for this defective child and I get irritated.
  • Nobody is ready to help and I have no extra time from my routine to handle this child specially.
  • When I go out with this child, people stare at us, so I prefer to go out without him/her.
  • We stay in a smaller town so we do not have facility for special educationist, speech therapist or physiotherapist. So I am helpless.
  • We stay in a metro and the distances & road traffic are major issues so it is not possible to take the child now and often either for physiotherapy or for speech therapy.
These and few more are the usual answers of most of the mothers. 
Fathers were very much bothered about the status in the society and their own so called manhood! At the end of long counseling sessions most of them asked a question especially for a male child, “Can he get married and have children?” They were not bothered about the development of the child, implementation of various techniques to help the child to become independent, the physiotherapy, the speech therapy, the toilet training and so many other issues related to the child. The irony is, most of the parents came with a child less than five years old and they were bothered more about the child getting married rather than other very important issues to make the child self sufficient. Some fathers were not ready to believe that there is some problem with the child. They were not interested in listening what I was suggesting. They kept on telling that they got all the reports done in the form of X-ray skull, CT-Scan, MRI etc and that showed nothing so it was useless to talk. Many of them narrated the names of well known Neurologist they consulted for the child and the high fees paid to them.

To me this is running away from the facts. This is mere waste of time and energy. By not accepting the facts, the reality is not going to change but it will surely get worsened.

Contrary to this I met some parents, mostly mothers who were not bothered about who cares and who does not, who loves and who does not, living in a big city or a small, in-laws supportive or not, getting special facilities in the form of school/ physiotherapy/ speech therapy or not, financially well or not. They accepted the fact at their earliest with utmost love and affection. As we know GOD HELPS THEM WHO HELP THEMSELVES, they started their journey. They had many hurdles on their way but they did not stop. Some had financial problems, some had rejection from near & dear ones, some were less educated, some stayed in remote places, some had loads of responsibilities and so on but they wanted to fight. It is nature’s law, if you are focused and put a step ahead in a positive forward moving direction with courage, faith, responsibility, love and affection the whole humanity starts walking with you. The whole world is made of people like us. If we accept and love, the whole world accepts and loves and if we reject we get a feeling that the whole world has rejected.

Love your child to your fullest; accept your child from the bottom of your heart and you will find thousands of hands stretched towards you to help you.


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